Wow, this blog post is late! I apologize to my legions of dedicated followers. Ahem.
Christie and Jodi are the first to hit the road this episode at 12:34 p.m. They open the clue and discover that their next destination is beautiful Novosibirsk, where they will need to find the Puknte Technicheskovo Kontrolya. But first, need to get tickets on the Trans-Siberian Railway. Kisha and Jen are hot on their heels.
When they get to the train station, they find out that the next train leaves at 10:26 p.m., which means that all the teams have lots of time to make it to the station, which means a level playing field again.
On the train Mike talks with Margie and Luke. He gives Luke some props for using the Blind U-Turn on Amanda and Kris last episode. “I’ll just keep limping so he doesn’t U-Turn me,” Mike says. Heh.
The train arrives and Kisha and Jen are the first team off. They promptly blow this lead, however, by heading left while everyone else goes right. D’oh!
“I’m extremely frustrated because our strategy should definitely be to follow the pack,” Jen snipes.
Margie and Luke and Jaime and Cara are first at the Detour, which is “Russian Bride” or “Russian Snowplow.”
For Bride, teams must find a Russian bride in an apartment bloc and then drive her across town to her waiting groom at a church and get their picture taken to receive the next clue. For Snowplow, teams have to go to a stadium and… drive a snowplow.
Here’s where strategy comes in: Bride is superficially the easier task, but teams willing to suck it up and drive a massive snowplow could eek out a lead. Then again, the brides are all pretty cute, but then again, the world is full of beautiful women and beside, these ladies are all spoken for, so if I wasn’t prohibited from participating on TAR by the fact that I work at a CBS affiliate, I would probably do Snowplow.
Still working together, Margie and Luke and Cara and Jaime go for the snowplow task. I think if Margie and Luke said, “Let’s ignore the Detour and set ourselves on fire,” Jaime and Cara would, as well. Just saying.
Meanwhile, Tammy and Victor catch up with the Fantastic Four and offer to work with them. All goes well until Tammy and Victor pull away, so now Jaime and Cara are hating on Tammy and Victor. Whatever.
Back at the Detour, Mel and Mike decide to do (oh, stop) the Russian brides.
Back at Snowplow Central, the three teams finish up and are delighted to learn that the next destination is Gosudarstvennaya Publichn… uh, the largest library in Siberia.
Meanwhile, Christie and Jodi get lost on the way to get their Russian bride. They ask some locals for directions, Unfirtunately, the locals are not quite sober. “That guy touched my butt and asked me my name,” huffs Christie. The nerve!
After they find the bride, they take her to the wrong church.
Kisha and Jen aren’t doing much better. Jen has trouble driving the provided car, and the streets are icy. “Shifting into gear is quite complicated,” Jen says.
Meanwhile, at the front of the pack (yeah, I said it), teams arrive at the library… and the Roadblock. In it, one team member has to run 1.4 miles across town to the Pit Stop, which is at the Novosibirsk Ballet * Opera Theater. Oh, did I mention the run must be made in their underwear? Gadzooks! (For emphasis, we even get a shot of Phil in his drawers – oh, the humanity.)
And they’re off. Luke strips down for his team, Tammy (yes!) runs for her team, and Cara bites the bullet for “Team Redhead.” In an interesting strategic move, Cara walks much of the route, so Tammy passes her.
Jen runs to the Pit Stop in borrowed underwears.
Luke and Margie are the first team to arrive, followed by Tammy and Victor and then Jaime and Cara.
Mike runs for Mel (duh), while Mark runs for his team, and they finish fourth and fifth.
So it’s a literal race between Kisha and Jen. Interestingly enough, Jen says she doesn’t wear underwear, so some is provided. Christie, meanwhile, is wearing a thong, which has to be blurred. Spicy!
Jen beats Christie, meaning Jodi and Christie are the last team to arrive… BUT WAIT!
Jodi and Christie are NOT eliminated. Next episode, they will have an extra task that they and only they must complete. In TAR parlance, this is called a Speed Bump. Ay dios mio!
Next week: Speed Bump, OMG.
